Sexuality is such a difficult topic to talk about. I’m terrified of judgement. At worst I’d face rejection and fear and trying to change me, and at best it’d be sympathy or friends trying to be open minded but being unable to comprehend. I’d take sympathy in a heartbeat.

But I wish I could talk to someone who’s in the same “predicament”. It’d be nice just to share a conversation with someone who has the same tastes. It’s been so goddamned lonely.

Kinks start young. I remember weird fixations surrounding certain events early in my childhood. The first few I was plain scared. Then as I aged it wasn’t fear but excitement. And I never figured out the connection between those seemingly unrelated events until so much later.

Maybe I’m too much of a prude to join a community without the safety of throwaway accounts and incognito browsers. And maybe I should shed my shame. I fully accept myself, but how do I find others like me without falling into some weird, closed off culty community?

How does dating work? How do you find someone who’ll love you, the real you? It’s a big scary question mark.