It’s a Wednesday. Trying to keep a diary because I cant fking remember what I did because of tiktok.

Had Sean over today to try out VR. Showed him my stuff like 3D printed 9mm round (its just a block of plastic) and the gel blaster. He’s not fully over Hao Ron, I hope he stabilises.

I’m worried about our friend groups, seems like everyone I know is hitching up and I feel lonely because every couple wants alone time. I guess its also time to work on myself and its just the feeling of abandonment that I gotta deal with.

Recently was worried about my emotional intelligence as I tend to deal with emotions by soldiering on. I suspect its unhealthy – whatever’s repressed just manifests as stress/panic later on.

I am stumbling and mumbling a lot more these days. I often misspell words. I don’t think it’s a side effect of wordplay, just a consequence of insufficient reading and writing.

Started reading about the Vietnam War and will try to expand my understanding of world history in the aftermath of WW2. I’m doing this because I made a rock playlist for Daniel and the protest songs got stuck in my head. I’m still left wondering why the US is afraid of communism (probably just McCarthyism) and why Daniel knows so much WW2 and German history, considering he never took the subject in school.

Nathan ordered his PC yesterday but the same day delivery was a fucking lie.

Trying to contribute to rocketry but still feel like I cant contribute technical wise because I lack the CADding skills and didn’t read up enough. I know the answer is to just knuckle down and study. I got to get to it or Ben is alone.

Still can’t figure out Nathan sometimes, although I know its just my ego blinding me from the fact that I often act in the same patterns. Gotta give him more benefit of the doubt.